


Take this love and take it down

by random_firework



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU where the Winchesters actually talk to resolve their conflicts, Angst, Bisexual Sam, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Jealous Dean, M/M, Possessive Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 12:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6610897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/random_firework/pseuds/random_firework
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an old lover of Sam resurfaces, Dean is afraid this could be the end of everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take this love and take it down

**Author's Note:**

> Written for an anonymous prompt on Tumblr: "Sam and Dean are on a hunt and runs into Sam's ex, who Dean did not know about. Bonus: ex is a dude."  
> (I picture this around season 2 but I guess you can set it whenever you want)
> 
> Title comes from the song Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, which I think reflects well the atmosphere of the story.
> 
> It was supposed to be a cute and lighthearted ficlet but it turned into three pages of angst. I hope you'll like it anyway :)

“Sam? Sam Winchester?” 

Both Sam and Dean looked up from the books unfolded in front of them. Dean raised his eyebrows at the blondish young man standing in front of their table but he didn’t even glance at him, all his attention directed at Sam. He watched his brother’s confused face open and a big smile spread on his face.

“Andrew!” Sam exclaimed. He stood up to hug the so-called Andrew, a little too long to Dean’s liking. He cleared his throat and stood next to his brother.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Andy, this is my brother, Dean. Dean, Andrew is an acquaintance from Stanford.” 

Andrew acknowledged Dean with a nod and a polite smile Dean did his best to return. They both quickly turned back to Sam who was all dimples and shining eyes. Dean tried to keep his calm. Sam was happy to see his friend. Nothing wrong with that, right? 

“So, you’re still in your books as I can see,” Andrew said with a crooked grin.

Dean’s gut twisted when he saw the blush spreading on Sam’s cheekbones and the way he ruffled his bangs. 

“Hey, I heard what happened to Jessica. I’m really sorry, Sam. I wanted to call you – I should’ve called you – but I didn’t know if you… well if it…” 

“You would have been well received,” Sam assured.

Neither of them talked for some time. It was like they were saying a million things just by looking at each other and Dean couldn’t catch a single one of them. He didn’t like it, not at all.

“Listen,” Andrew finally let out. “I have to go meet with a client, but why don’t we meet up this evening?”

“Yeah, sure!” Sam answered in a heartbeat. 

“Okay, I’ll text you then.” 

He left with a grin to Sam and another nod to Dean. When he stopped his self-assured walk to turn his head back a little and wink at Sam, Dean decided that he hated him.

 

For the rest of the day, Sam acted distractedly. More than once, Dean had to nudge him because he had stopped taking notes on what the witnesses were saying. He barely touched his lunch and hardly answered to Dean. That was, of course, until Dean broached the subject he dreaded to.

“So…this Andy guy…” 

Sam snapped out of his thoughts and turned away from the window and its view on the parking lot of the motel to raise his eyebrows at Dean. 

“He seems to be more than an acquaintance. You guys were friends?” Dean continued prudently, trying to look nonchalant while he was actually burning up on the inside. He focused on folding his jeans. He didn’t want to look at Sam and see his eyes shining at the simple mention of that Andrew. 

“He…Uh…He used to be my boyfriend, actually,” Sam said.

Even though he expected it, Dean still felt a punch in the gut. He nodded to take the time to collect himself. When he finally found the strength to look up at Sam, the latter was standing next to the door, like he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. 

“Dean, you’re okay?” 

“Yeah. Yeah. It’s not like I didn’t know you had been with guys before. Everything’s fine.” 

Except everything wasn’t. Dean tried to hold his jealousy back but what Sam answered was the last straw that broke the camel’s back.

“Alright. Then I should get going, I have to meet up with him at 8.” 

“What? You’re not seriously considering having dinner with him, right?”

Sam frowned, hand still on the doorknob. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I saw how he looked at you, Sam! He wants more than just talking about the good old days.” 

Sam let go of the door handle only to cross his arms on his chest. Dean sighed. This wasn’t good. 

“Okay, let’s say he does. You don’t trust me enough to tell him no?” 

Dean stayed silent. How could he explain to Sam that he wanted to trust him but that he couldn’t because deep down he always felt worthless, replaceable and he was always sure everybody was just waiting for the occasion to abandon him?

“You don’t, do you?” Sam said, stunned.

“Sam, it’s not-”

“So you can flirt shamelessly with girls in bars and I can’t meet up with an old friend? This is some serious level of bullshit Dean, even for you! Better be careful or one day I’m gonna give you reasons not to trust me,” Sam blurted before storming out of the room.

 

Dean spent the rest of the evening zapping from one channel to another and nibbling at the Chinese food he had ordered. When he tried to focus on the research for the hunt, his mind instantly went back to what had happened at the library earlier. He couldn’t remember the soft laugh Sam had let out when he had saw Andrew or the way their hands had brushed without wanting to puke. He knew it was fucked up, obviously. Not only was he head over heels in love with his little brother, he was also unhealthily, violently, possessive of Sam. He had always been but it had turned even worse after Stanford. He wouldn’t – couldn’t – let anyone take Sam away from him again.

The hours passed. When the clock displayed midnight, Dean slipped under the covers, hopeless. He had ruined everything. The only good thing to ever happen to him was now in the arms of someone else because of him. Why hadn’t he kept his mouth shut? It would have been easy to tell Sam to have a good evening and send him off with a kiss. But no, he had to go and make a fuss. And a rather pathetic one, if Dean was honest with himself.

He opened his phone for the umpteenth time before closing it right after. What could he say? “I’m sorry for being a jerk. I don’t deserve you. Please come back anyway?” Sam would show the text to his precious Andy and they would both laugh at him. They would be right. 

Dean drifted off with the image of the two of them warm and sweaty in the king bed of a nice hotel suite. Sam was smiling and humming. He looked happy. Dean’s heart broke a little bit more when he understood that while he could never be happy without Sam, the opposite didn’t seem to be true. 

 

Dean’s eyes shot open around 1 o’clock when he felt a presence behind him, on the bed. A soothing hand fell on his shoulder when he began to writhe.

“Dean, it’s me, it’s Sam.”

The memory of the day before rushed back to Dean’s mind. He turned to face his brother, confused.

“Sam?” 

“Sorry, didn’t want to wake you up.”

Dean blinked. He wasn’t dreaming. Sam was really there, in their bed, with him. 

“What are you doing here?” he murmured. 

Sam frowned until he understood what Dean meant. He put his hand in his brother’s hair and Dean leaned into the touch. 

“Dean, I didn’t mean what I said. I would never do that to you. I will never leave you, you know that.” 

“I know,” Dean sighed. “I’m sorry for acting that way. How did it go?”

“It was nice.” He fell silent while still stroking Dean’s hair. “You were right though, he did want us to get back together,” he added, seeming lost in his thoughts. Dean decided to leave him to them. He still had some questions but Sam seemed to need so time alone to think. 

“Well I’m glad you didn’t,” he just said with a kiss on his little brother’s forehead before turning on the other side. 

After a few minutes where neither of them seemed to be able to get to sleep, Dean took a chance and asked: “Why did you never talk about him?”

“It’s complicated, Dean.”

“Try me.”

Dean felt Sam spooning him from behind and took one of his hand in his.

“Andy and I stayed a long time together. A year and a half. I met him when I arrived at Stanford and he was already a senior. He got a job opportunity in Georgia after he got his degree. We still had…feelings for each other but you know what we say about long-distance relationship…” 

Dean’s chest tightened. He didn’t know what hurt him the most. The fact that Sam had lost someone he deeply cared about or the fact that Andrew had meant so much for Sam. “That must have sucked.”

Sam huffed. “Yeah, it did. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him, you know? And when he left…”

Dean tensed under his brother’s arm. Sam must had felt it, because he fondled his cheek tenderly.

“Dean there’s something you gotta understand,” he said firmly though his voice was shaking. “I didn’t notice it until you came and got me at Stanford. But Andy reminded me of you. A lot. I guess that’s why I was so attached to him. And losing him was like losing you all over again. It was hell.” 

In no time, Dean was straddling Sam and kissing his tears away. 

“Shh now I’m here.” A kiss on his left cheekbone. “I ain’t gonna leave.” A kiss on his nose. “And I ain’t gonna let you leave.” He pressed his lips against Sam’s and he hoped that his brother felt the same thing when their tongues found each other. A feeling of home. Sam was his. And Dean was Sam’s. That would never, ever, change.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Kudos and feedbacks are always appreciated :)


End file.
